C.S. Lewis’ account of his conversion from atheism to Christianity is called, Surprised by Joy. Joy is the term he used to describe an intense but fleeting sensation he experienced sometime in his youth, and which he spent a lot of time and energy seeking again in his young adult years. But along the way in his search, he incidentally found something else: a relationship with Christ.
He wrote the following at the end of the book: “But what ... of Joy? for that, after all, is what the [account in the book] has mainly been about. To tell the truth, the subject has lost nearly all interest for me since I became a Christian. ... now I know that the experience [of Joy] ... never had the kind of importance I once gave it. It was valuable only as pointer to something other and outer. While that other was in doubt, the pointer naturally loomed large in my thoughts. When we are lost in the woods that sight of a signpost is a great matter. ... But when we have found the road and are passing signposts every few miles, we shall not stop and stare.”
Is there something you believe critical to your inner well-being that you’re looking for but can’t quite find? Don’t give up the search. But also, don’t be surprised if, while looking for an answer, you find something that turns your search on its head and sends you in a new direction.
God sometimes works with us that way.